"At night I shall dream of more labor"

I haven't forgotten that this blog exists, even if the rest of the internet has. Somehow I've gotten over 500 page views in the last month, which is ridiculous.

I continue to walk the Earth in Los Angeles, cultivating a lifestyle of mild social anxiety and maintaining extracurricular interests that are equal parts compelling, insane and depressing, though none are compelling,  insane or depressing enough to detail on the internet. You can't just put anything you want on the internet.

I just broke out my Cometbus Omnibus, which will unquestionably jolt me in the direction of writing a couple of aimless blog entries, possibly more depending on how my mind responds this time around. Normally I like to blame my failings of consistent writings on my job but, to be honest, my job hardly occupies the entirely of my brain, and it certainly doesn't satiate my consistent and burning desire to compose sentences rife with comma splices and references to myself.

What Happens When Casey and I Go Grocery Shopping

Vacation starts on Friday. Watch out, phone bill.

Christmas Eve at the Getty

Took my family way too long to agree on a winter in California. Suck it, Beltway.

Also, in unrelated news, I miss DC.

Amuse-bouche

Restaurant Providence on Melrose in Hollywood. That's a mojito and a screwdriver, obviously.

Today's Sign Of The Apocalypse

Our thermometer outside reads 36ºF. Meanwhile, it's 53 in Blacksburg, VA.

Did I Miss Something?

Approximately a 16 block area of Koreatown today reeked of burnt weed.

Laughlin is the new Vegas.

Caveat Emptor

If you buy the LA Times at Starbucks today you don't get the section containing the crossword puzzle. Fair warning for those whose daily 50 cents is allocated mostly for the crossword.

Oh, and the new Blood Brothers record is shockingly good. The video for "Laser Life" isn't so hot, but I really don't know what to expect from music videos anymore.

Alright, and one vaguely-titled link to an amusing news story.... I would have voted for him for president.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction, But Not As Strange As Lies (Or As True)

You can lecture me to your heart's content about the injustices I may impose on a bar by adding "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Right Now" to the jukebox queue, but there's never been a time in my life I've wanted to start an unruly bar brawl more than tonight when a drunk girl and her intoxicated boyfriend found the skip button behind the jukebox to jump over the Smiths, Elvis Costello and INXS selections (it was the best they had) to play "Love Song." Like the bartenders hadn't already endured that song eight times tonight (and probably have eight more time since I left).

I Might Be The Only Person On Earth Not Seeing Borat This Weekend

I'm pretty sure I saw the guy who played Batmanuel on Fox's short-lived live action version of The Tick driving on Highland a few minutes ago. Then again, it also could have just been a random mexican.

The newly-remodeled Griffith Observatory (founded by the particularly redundant Griffith J. Griffith) has exactly two statues on its grounds. The Albert Einstein one makes sense, but I'm a little more confused by James Dean's presence, particularly in the absence of, you know, Copernicus or Big Bird. I also have rotten things to say about the "Galactic Express" bus that picks you up from Hollywood and Highland. But yeah, cool place.

The Borat movie looks great, but I'm a bit disenchanted by the overealous frat-boy crowd that has latched onto it as a way for coping with the demise of Chapelle's Show. I'll go on a weekday afternoon.

What's So Funny About Depression-Era Institutional Pedophilia?

We're playing a competitve simulation game in Marketing class, and I have twice this week completely and unilaterally overhauled our group's strategy. We went from 36th place to 3rd place, and still fear I may be deposed as group leader (although that fear is based on absolutely nothing). School's weird like that.

It's disturbing to the point of amusement (well... almost) that people in places of political prominence like George Allen and this guy can launch themselves over the handlebars and people are still convinced that a Freudian slip from the eternally idiotic John Kerry can actually hamper the Democrats' bid to reclaim Congress. I'm sure if we looked at video footage of that Kerry speech, you'd see a disguised Karl Rove lurking behind stage with whiteout and a sharpee.

The OC is done. Details (in the form of 24 more poorly-written episodes) to follow.

Even after a reported 18 gajillion youtube streams of Ok Go's treadmill performance on the MTV whatever awards, they've still only shipped a paltry 230,000 records. Viral marketing is an urban myth.

If you hang around the USC business school enough, you'll start to wonder why you overhear "what's your vertical?" throughout the halls. I'm not a particularly athletic person, so I can't say I'd be comforted by people being so concerned with my vertical leap, but this buzzword replacement for "major" is sort of a silly concept. Instead of "majoring in" something, you are "aligned to" your vertical. People actually talk this way. Hi, I'm Kevin, and I'm aligned to the Entreprenuership, Small Business, General Management and Nonprofit vertical.

Gawker's "Great Moments in Journalism" feature has been somewhat enjoyable recently. I still have trouble remembering the site exists, however, so I occasionally have to mention it here. This blog is here for me, not you.

I'm considering just starting to lie a lot on here. Thoughts?

I Finished My Homework In Record Time

Actually, finishing my homework at all is a milestone.

I'm getting the tattoo bug in the worst way again. I already have a lot of work to complete on my cold war tattoo, and now I've decided that I badly want a huge snowman chasing a bunch of smaller snowmen. Don't try to tell me it's a lame idea.

The Departed lives up to all of the other Scorsese movies, and is well worth the price of admission. He always manages to take organized crime to gruesome new heights. It looks an awful lot like they found the same alley that The Boondock Saints opens in. Very useful trivia.

The new Tim Barry record sounds pretty refreshing after hearing him write the same Avail record 14 times.

There's a fascinating article in the new Working Mother on saving money around the holidays! They also have an advertisement for a fabulous new toaster that toasts smiley faces into your bread.

I had the luxury of seeing Mew for the second time in a couple months last night. Given the brevity of their current tour, I'd say that we might not see them in the states again for a while, so you might want to go out of your way. The changes they make to their songs in a live setting make me crave a live record greatly, although I've yet to figure out why "Snow Brigade" isn't a part of their set.

I found a new way to USC from North Hollywood: 107S->Burbank Ave. -> Lankershim Blvd. -> Turn around at campo de Cahuenga -> Cahuenga Blvd. -> Hollywood Way -> 5S -> Los Feliz -> Vermont Ave. -> Boom. You're there. It takes two and a half hours, and is supremely helpful when the 101S, 170S and Lankershim (all integral parts of the regular route) are all closed. I think the gods of traffic sneezed on the map of Los Angeles on Friday.

On the subject of gods in a plural sense, has anyone ever considered polytheism? I mean, other than the Pagans and such like. It seems like it could be sort of fun, albeit overwhelming.

I took a few days off from reading and, as a result, have lost the ability to say anything meaningful. Sorry people.

Quote Of The Foreseeable Future

"I make more money than God."

That bit of honesty came from an elegantly wasted West Virginian at St. Nick's in Beverly Hills last night, after insisting that he buy a round of beers and shots for everyone. When I gave him a cigarette in return (I've discovered that offering people cigarettes is the easiest way to get them to leave), he finished it in less than 30 seconds and nailed a passing car with the remains. He later departed the bar in a frenzy, leaving a wadded pile of 20's on the table and an open tab at the register.

I'm pretty sure he drives trucks for a living.

Illustrated With A Reasonable Number Of Tables And Figures

I arrived home from school today feeling sick (probably from eating Taco Bell a day earlier) and remarkably annoyed. Without going into any of the gruesome details, I'd like to mention that school today included a two-hour session on "dining etiquette" and an hour of some old guy on a computer, for lack of a better term, fucking around with charts and graphs in Excel.

So, when I found out that John Hodgman was doing a book signing at Book Soup in Hollywood tonight, I was thrilled to think about anything other than having to go to school tomorrow. I've had his book for a little while and have heard him on NPR and on Comedy Central a great deal, so I knew the entertainment portion of the evening should be at least marginally stimulating.

With Book Soup being neighbor to the now famously shipwrecked Tower Records (this particular location on Sunset is apparently selling for thirteen million dollars), I decided to stop in to take advantage of the free parking, and possibly find some hidden gem. Unfortunately for Tower -- and I'm not an executive here, so I guess my opinions are shrouded in ignorance -- not very many people will be inclined to help the company liquidate their assets at $13.49 per cd oh-so-generously marked down from $14.99. Zines and books are 30% off, but even the most thoroughly-stocked Tower location carries about fourteen titles (thirteen of which are either about the Beatles or by Nick Hornby). Long story short, I didn't buy anything (which technically meant by walking to the bookstore, I was now parking illegally. To ruin the suspense for you - nothing happened to my car).

John Hodgman stepped to the podium with a ruggedly-dressed acoustic guitarist (coonskin hat included) in tow performing Hodgman's "theme song." Hodgman continues early in his talk that to be a true writer, all you really need is stationery that has your name followed by ", writer" and a theme song. He spoke for about 45 minutes, shifting between some passages in Areas..., along with some accompanying anecdotes and information (term used loosely). One of the quirkiest moments, however, was the twenty minute Q&A session that he conducted entirely via walkie-talkie. Someone from the doorway asked about Hodgman's role in Bruce Campbell's book If Chins Could Kill (he was the literary agent), and someone standing in the biography section asked if Hodgman had a problem with people taking him seriously (his response: "It sort of goes with the territory when you're always lying"). He refused to answer questions that did not end with the word "over."

Now, I don't attend book signings often, so I can't say whether this is normal, but any event at a bookstore that involves engaging humor, walkie talkies and an acoustic show at the end sounds good to me. The guitarist (who I have just now discovered was named Jonathan Coulton) performed one solo tune after Hodgman was done speaking. He introduced it by saying "this is a song about a girl that dumped me. It's called Skullcrusher Mountain."

At the end of the whathaveyou, I got Hodgman to sign my copy of the book (he wrote "Nice suit, Kevin" and then crossed out his name in the book and rewrote it. It would seem more amusing if it weren't so obvious that he's done that in every copy of the book he's signed).

I recommend both the book, and the book tour, if it comes through your town. If nothing else, remember that book signings are always free.

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Originally uploaded by kevinpwade.

I'm not sure where to start, but needless to say, this is where I wash my clothes. I have yet to use the money changer however, since I'm not in the costuming business.